Showing Your Cards

I'm going to keep this short and sweet today.
Growing up down South I was surrounded by a lot of country music.....a LOT of country music! Most of those artists and even the new ones today I now can't stand due to overdose by immersion, but a select few artists I still enjoy....most of them being from the OLD country versus the new country venue. I can still randomly belt out a Patsy Cline verse or two when the mood strikes and hit it pretty accurately too. Johnny Cash of course is always on my ipod or laptop or somewhere easily accessible in case I need a gritty soul fix...although he's more rockabilly than country....but I digress. Unlike Patsy and Johnny though most of the ones I enjoyed as a kid I now don't really care for.

Kenny Rogers is one of those. As a kid I loved him, of course that was before all of his plastic surgery when he still looked human and not like a cat-man...(STRASHNA!!!) anyway........one of my favorite songs by him was The Gambler. Of course back then there was the entire line of Gambler movies to help propel the song...but even without those, I just LOVED that song! As I got older I forgot about it for many years, then one day I was thinking about how we need to constantly live life with a strategy, a plan, and that song came back to mind. Specifically a few lines of the song. Now if you know Kenny Rogers, then you probably know the most famous of the lines from the song which are.....

"........If you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right
You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run......." 

HOWEVER......many people don't know the words that follow shortly after and those are the ones that came to my mind the other day. Here they are,

".....Every gambler knows

That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep..."

Now, before we go any further let me do my obligatory disclaimer for those reading this that will go on an accusatory tirade. PLEASE don't misunderstand or misquote me...I am NOT implying or eluding to any kind of support statement on gambling. I am simply using the lyrics to a song to make a scriptural point...that's all, so please don't go HRH (Holy Roller Hypocrite) on me. **Now, back to my point.**
As I thought about the lyrics and about my previous thoughts on life...I couldn't help but notice the wisdom in those simple song lyrics. The secret to survive in this life is knowing what to throw away and knowing what to keep. HOW TRUE!!! How many times have I and I'm sure you, latched onto things that quite simply were killing us. Oh, maybe not actually physically taking our life, although that is a possibility too, but perhaps killing us inside. Think about it, have you ever struggled with any of these...an addiction, being trapped in a toxic relationship, holding onto past wrongs done to us by regularly (or semi-regularly) reliving the memory, or following a doctrine simply because somebody who went to school and supposedly knows what they are talking about tells us it's true. Every day in many ways we are bombarded by things that we should be weighing in a scale of wisdom.  Asking ourselves, "Does this have positive or negative value when I have reached completion of this thing? Does this action or thought pattern reflect BIBLICAL TRUTH, not hearsay? Does this breathe and or encourage a trend of life or death into me or others? Does this action or thinking glorify God?"
Once you answer those questions and come to an honest answer...then you are saddled with the responsibility of weeding. You must decide that even though you may be accustomed to living within certain parameters and patterns, if it isn't bringing LIFE into your life..then it needs to be removed.
 HOWWWW do we do this? Well, here are my thoughts on the matter. Things I HAVE done and am STILL doing.
1) Be transparent and take responsibility for your actions. If you are doing something you shouldn't be doing...don't pretend like you aren't and certainly don't pretend like God doesn't know. You know and He knows so instead of trying to bury it let Him help you clean it up and out so you can move on unfettered!

Psalm 139:10-12 (Amplified Bible)

¹⁰Even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.

    ¹¹If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me and the night shall be [the only] light about me,

    ¹²Even the darkness hides nothing from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.^(A)

^{2) Read and memorize the Bible. You can't live what you don't know!}

Psalm 119:11 (New Living Translation)

 ¹¹ I have hidden your word in my heart,
      that I might not sin against you.

3) STOP PLAYING OLD TAPES. If you are reliving old hurts or offenses often enough that you have no trouble at all remembering every little detail...then you are thinking about them too much!  Turn off the tape layer in your head and heart and BURN the evidence!

Isaiah 43:18 (New Living Translation)

 ¹⁸ But forget all that—
      it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.

^{4) Remove the toxic people from your life. If you are surrounded by people that are doing some or all of the toxic things you need to stop doing, and they are doing them to such a degree that you find their own sewage is draining off into your life...END IT! Regardless of how much you may love them and WANT them in your life, until they get healthy themselves, all they are going to do is bring you down....so walk away...no, better yet...RUN from them and don't look back!}

1 Corinthians 15:33 (Amplified Bible)

³³Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character.

5) Once you decide to change and move forward with life....drop anchor and do not MOVE. NO matter what happens, and trust me, all kinds of things will happen to try and bring you back, but don't let go. You keep your eyes faced forward no matter what and you walk. You WILL get breakthrough. I promise you that. I can't promise you how long it will take, but as somebody who has done and continues to strive for these things...it works if you commit to it...TRULY 100 percent, life or death commit to it. God is always faithful.

Galatians 6:9 (New Living Translation)

⁹ So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 

Let  me know how you are doing and I will keep interceding for you. Change is never easy and I won't pretend it is, but life on the other side of it is always worth the scars you receive in battle! 

Psalm 34:5 (Amplified Bible)

⁵They looked to Him and were radiant; their faces shall never blush for shame or be confused.

A Date With Destiny

Well.......this has taken far longer than I expected to get back here, but unfortunately there just aren't enough waking hours in the day. Due to an unexpected post however, I realized since it has been two months since I've been able to write...all of you that I don't get to talk to on a regular basis may be wondering what the latest news is. Sooooooo I thought I really do need to catch everyone up to speed as to the reasons WHY I have been away.

As many of you know Ben and I are actively working on getting our homeless shelter started. We have had many open doors....some completely unexpected and from completely diverse places! WOO-HOO!!!! Considering that we had somewhat tabled this desire for several years, it has been a breath of fresh air to suddenly have people pursuing US to get this done! WOW!!
Now....here comes the grain of sand in this budding pearl! In stark contrast to all the wonderful support we have gotten, the votes in our favor, and the bills we have had passed on our behalf etc, etc.....we are now having to use our previously gained momentum to fight a battle with a few strategically placed bureaucrats and their red tape. The amazing thing is that while this may take a while to accomplish the end goal....having an army of laypeople and politicians on our side fighting with us has made all the difference. Not just for morale...but in doing so much footwork and research etc that we would normally just not have time to do with our already busy schedules. Thank You LORD!!!  However, all of that said.....it still manages to fill the empty gaps of our already jam packed schedules.

Since Ben and I tend to overbook ourselves with activities of every kind...(shocking, I know..lol) we decided a few months ago that we both need to FORCE ourselves to have downtime. To many of you that may seem like an odd thing to have to do, but for two highly driven people, it's a lot easier than it sounds, trust me. Soooooo Ben joined a local APA League team with one of his brothers who had already been a longtime member. It's been GREAT!!!! It's created a great way not only for BEn and Steve to bond, but their other brother, Mike, and our friend Lori have also been coming to most of the game nights. It's been great to build closer family relationships on a weekly basis, but also to deepen friendships and create new ones with the fellow team members. The really cool thing is that I have seen Ben just begin to relax and have fun on a daily basis too because he finally has a fun hobby/activity that he just excels at! YEAH GOD!!! Not to mention he's a pretty dang good player and is wiping out a lot of the people he is playing against as well as working his way up through the ranks. 

Now.....for the big news. Another thing keeping me away from AMH has been directly connected to AMH. As a few of you are aware I've been working on a Bible study that I intended to share strictly for all of you AMH readers as a year long Bible study to spread over the course of 2011. HOWEVER...as my research and study progressed on the topic and expanded over and over it has also taken a different turn that I hadn't expected. What started as a simple study has turned into an in depth theological expository essay. A great study for my personal self, but given that it's main purpose was to bless all of you I began praying about how to proceed (which is why it's intended release date here on AMH of January 1st came and went with no posting.) Sooooooo..........for those of you that DON'T know yet, after much prayer and many, many confirmations from various sources....I will be pursuing publishing this study into book form with an accompanying study guide for use in small groups and other venues. I already have the outline in rough draft form....ready to be amended with whatever else God has me add in. I haven't given the title any thought yet, but when the time comes I plan to keep everyone here at AMH involved by putting out a vote. Right now I'm just focusing on the meat on the book. I considered keeping the subject matter private for now, but I don't think it will adversely affect anything by sharing the general direction of the book. I'll be focusing on the role of integrity in the lives of today's Christians. Something I think we can all benefit from.

Meanwhile, our oldest God-daughter is getting married in just a few days so we're very excited about that! We are so proud of Amber and Austin and can't wait to see what God has for them as they progress together in life and in ministry. They have grown so much in their faith and in their personal lives in the past two years that my heart leaps with joy for them! Not to mention....it is very humbling when a young couple says they "..want a marriage like you have.." To still hear that after almost 10 years of marriage and to have young people asking for advice on how to keep the love alive and honor God with their marriage and to stay happily married even in the face of imperfection and trials is an answer to prayer for me! I always promised God I would be completely transparent about what He has me go through as long as He uses it to benefit others, and thankfully He has always followed through on that. I'm amazed at how many circumstances I can now encourage others with or give counsel through. Only God can do that!

Romans 8:28 (New Living Translation)

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

The Deflated Pollyanna

Sooooo this perpetual Pollyanna hasn't felt very Pollyanna-ish lately. Oh the positive effervescence is still inside of me, but it's been more than a bit flat in my attempts at executing it. Do I still believe that EVERYTHING, without exception works to good? Without question. I just can't help but feel a bit fidgety lately. I don't mind waiting on God, in fact most of the time I actually ENJOY the downtime of the wait, it gives me a chance to focus on what I'm doing now that may become an asset for me in the future. Valuable prep time as it were. So why am I feeling fidgety this time? I guess I'm still trying to figure that out. That's probably why I'm still awake at 2am when I should be sleeping so I can get up in 3 hours and go deal with a herd of germ carrying munchkins. Although at this point since I'm wide awake it may be a viable option to pull an all nighter...lol.
Ironically the crux of my frustration right now stems from my job. Now don't get me wrong, I actually love my job, my employer and my boss. That isn't the problem. The problem is that I feel a bit....well....overlooked. I know the value of what my gifts and talents are, the years of experiences I have and what I can bring to the table if given the opportunity.  When I was 20 I started my own business and quickly became quite successful at it, but due to a glaring lack of capital as well as a barely minimum wage job I had to put an end to it. After that I had a healthy string of successful positions over the years that all included my working my way up from the bottom and into a management position. They went from managing as few as 5 employees to being solely responsible for over 8,000 corporate accounts. My frustration is that I feel like the assets I have are not being tapped into for the greater good. My battle is to appreciate the place I'm in for the downtime it affords me as well as thoughtfully considering the points that perhaps I'm having this extended downtime because I quite simply need to continue to grow to a point of maturity that I will be READY for the next level. Something I am always willing to see as a credible possibility because quite frankly even though I know how far I've come, I also know I have a long way to go.
I could easily sit and go through a list of whining points to validate my frustrations....but realistically, what does that solve? Whining never solves anything and all it accomplishes is irritating it's listeners, trust me, I know....I DESPISE whining! What I can do however, in true Pollyanna form, is make a list of the reasons why I should be glad that things are the way they are right now. So for much more my benefit than yours, here I go.
1) I'm glad that I don't have to take work home.
2) I'm glad that I can let the weight of difficult decisions fall on someone else's shoulders.
3) I'm glad that I don't have more things to try and focus on during 8 short hours than just making sure my students know their colors, shapes, numbers and manners.
4) I'm glad that I have a boss that prays for her workers.
5) I'm glad that I work with Christians, something I longed for, for years.
6) I'm glad that I don't have the daily battle of re-establishing co-worker relationship vs supervisor relationship
7) I'm glad that I no longer have to carry the burden of hiring and firing people...something I never really relished in the first place.
8) I'm glad I can support the boss I do have to help her get to a higher place in her career because I wish I had people who would have done that for me.
I guess in reality I'm glad that things are the way they are for now....I suppose I really do know that God hasn't overlooked me and I know He is aware of what I can and cannot do as well as what my true heart desires are for my present and my future. So the real question is can I continue to wait patiently and trust Him even when it feels like things aren't moving. Yeah.......I can. **sigh** and maybe I need to remember all of these things when I want to rush the process along.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation)

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.