I've always believed that joy is a choice and I still do. In my opinion, joy and happiness aren't the same thing and you can definitely have one without the other. Happiness doesn't exist in a bad moment....but joy actually can.
Happiness is a state of being..or in other terms...the natural flowing side effect of a good experience. Sooooo.......what determines if the experience is good or not? Well, that comes from each individual persons own definition of what they like or dislike. For example, I dislike snakes, but my husband likes them and can and will pick them up and enjoy holding and looking at them as if he's holding and looking at say.....a kitten. In that moment he's unbelievably happy....me.....not so much. Similarly, I really like the experience of shopping and can literally spend hours wandering through racks and aisles looking for bargains. In that moment I'm euphorically happy....Ben....not even close..he's in chest gripping dread thinking of what I could be spending or even considering spending.
Consider the photo of a person in a bright yellow bathing suit smiling at an under water camera with bubbles coming from their nose for someone that may trigger great memories of a tropical vacation and lots of laughter and adventure......good experience = happiness. For the person sitting next to them however, that exact same photo may trigger horrible memories where they couldn't breathe under water...or fear of the unclear water behind them that could be hiding dangerous things.....bad experience = unhappiness. How about the public announcement of a pregnancy or an engagement? For some those things are wonderful and happy because they've had good experiences, while for others those things can cause deep sadness, feelings of inadequacy, and even depression because they long for things that have yet to be fulfilled. A photo of a loving couple sitting in a romantically lit restaurant staring into each others eyes longingly may make one person's heart go pitter patter with feelings of romance.....while another feels disgust as they look for wedding rings and wonder if they are having an affair. Happiness is not an across the board given....it's subjectively based on our experiences or perceptions.
Joy, however, well...it's more than an event...it goes deeper than that....it's a little more abstract....it's an essence....an essence of being one way in spite of things being another way....and it usually requires our cooperation.....it's a purposefully made choice. How though do we choose joy? How do we envelope that essence? It starts with us deciding WHERE our joy comes from.....what is our source. I mean dissecting the raw REAL source we draw our definition of joy from. Does our joy come from the fleeting and completely imperfect things this life and other humans have to offer...or does it come from something else? If our definition of joy is based on life circumstances and people....then we've unintentionally and unknowingly tied our definition of joy in with our definition of happiness. If that happens....our joy will always fall short and we will always be on a roller coaster ride based on how our day or our life is going. I don't know about you, but I don't like emotional whiplash.
For us Christians, our definition of joy cannot be tied to our definition of happiness. Instead, it MUST be based on the character traits of who we know and are learning the triune God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) to be.
I cannot stress that last comment enough....so I'm going to repeat myself in a slightly different way...
.....our definition of joy MUST ONLY be based on THE CHARACTER TRAITS of GOD.......NOT on a person, circumstance, event, or situation and certainly NOT on a feeling.....not even on how we perceive God SHOULD perform....but on His character traits.
Like it or not, there are some things we Jesus folk really need to understand....and we just HAVE to grasp this because it's literally causing way too many Christians to sink in their faith walk because they are walking around miserable, hopeless, bitter and just plain dried out. Weary is one thing....we ALL get battle weary....but to be spiritually mummified is a whole other issue. We're supposed to bring salt and light to the world....not Jesus jerky. I know that may sound funny...but seriously....pay attention here...
1) Humans have free will, which means we and those around us can make horrible choices that are cruel and selfish and downright evil and can affect....well....almost everything. (Free will explained) (i.e. a) people we work with can be jerks b) spouses can lie or say cruel things c) drivers can cut us off d) people can commit heinous crimes etc. etc. etc. )
2) Since the fall of man....we live in a "fallen nature" (imperfect) world that is, ALSO like it or not, subject to the natural laws of science and nature instead of God's perfect laws. ( i.e. a) gravity pulls things down b) germs and lack of sleep can cause us to get sick c) weather patterns can wreak disastrous havoc d) lemon bars, potato chips and fettuccine alfredo make us fat etc. etc. etc.)
To choose to be joyful in the face of adversity and cruelty and trauma is hard....sometimes it feels impossible...but I promise you...it's not. I've been through some really hard things, some traumatic things, some potentially embittering things....many at the hands of people that I loved and trusted....and even now there is a battle that my husband and I are fighting together that could easily be cause to steal our joy. However, through EVERYTHING....even when I'm too wounded or weary to actually talk to God....I go to His Word and let Him speak to me and I feel my joy...my essence of being, restored in the midst of whatever hell I'm tearfully fighting through.
The cooperation portion of the essence is I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that there is hope. I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that God is actually who He says He is. I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that God actually really does love me and doesn't want to hurt me and let me down the way humans have hurt me and let me down. Don't fool yourself either...we all SAY we believe that...and sing the songs and run around like joy filled Polly Pockets when life is grand....but the reality is...when life is horrible we do not function in joy...we function in fear, anger, CONTROL, bitterness, rejection, etc, etc, etc. Choosing to cooperate with joy takes effort....God knows and has always known that. That's why in the Bible He makes a big deal of telling the Israelites to set up stones of remembrance to REMIND themselves of God's character through what He's done for them. He protected them, rescued them, defended them, repeatedly forgave them and gave them another chance, provided for them, rallied them.....SAVED them. In Hebrews 13:8 we are told flat out that Jesus (part of the triune God- Father, Son, Holy Spirit) is the SAME...yesterday, today and FOREVER....so guess what. That means God will STILL protect us, rescue us, defend us, repeatedly forgive us and give us another chance, provide for us, rally us, and has already saved us. So to get the essence of joy? KNOW GOD'S CHARACTER.....His character proves that we are safe in His care...no matter what hell we are currently in....no matter if we understand or not...we don't NEED to understand....we just need to patiently endure.
Here are some links to verses to help you learn the character of God and some to help you get that essence of joy going in the face of adversity. ( Click on each reference to read the verse.)
Love,
Fran
~JOY ALL WAYS~
1) Humans have free will, which means we and those around us can make horrible choices that are cruel and selfish and downright evil and can affect....well....almost everything. (Free will explained) (i.e. a) people we work with can be jerks b) spouses can lie or say cruel things c) drivers can cut us off d) people can commit heinous crimes etc. etc. etc. )
2) Since the fall of man....we live in a "fallen nature" (imperfect) world that is, ALSO like it or not, subject to the natural laws of science and nature instead of God's perfect laws. ( i.e. a) gravity pulls things down b) germs and lack of sleep can cause us to get sick c) weather patterns can wreak disastrous havoc d) lemon bars, potato chips and fettuccine alfredo make us fat etc. etc. etc.)
To choose to be joyful in the face of adversity and cruelty and trauma is hard....sometimes it feels impossible...but I promise you...it's not. I've been through some really hard things, some traumatic things, some potentially embittering things....many at the hands of people that I loved and trusted....and even now there is a battle that my husband and I are fighting together that could easily be cause to steal our joy. However, through EVERYTHING....even when I'm too wounded or weary to actually talk to God....I go to His Word and let Him speak to me and I feel my joy...my essence of being, restored in the midst of whatever hell I'm tearfully fighting through.
The cooperation portion of the essence is I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that there is hope. I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that God is actually who He says He is. I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that God actually really does love me and doesn't want to hurt me and let me down the way humans have hurt me and let me down. Don't fool yourself either...we all SAY we believe that...and sing the songs and run around like joy filled Polly Pockets when life is grand....but the reality is...when life is horrible we do not function in joy...we function in fear, anger, CONTROL, bitterness, rejection, etc, etc, etc. Choosing to cooperate with joy takes effort....God knows and has always known that. That's why in the Bible He makes a big deal of telling the Israelites to set up stones of remembrance to REMIND themselves of God's character through what He's done for them. He protected them, rescued them, defended them, repeatedly forgave them and gave them another chance, provided for them, rallied them.....SAVED them. In Hebrews 13:8 we are told flat out that Jesus (part of the triune God- Father, Son, Holy Spirit) is the SAME...yesterday, today and FOREVER....so guess what. That means God will STILL protect us, rescue us, defend us, repeatedly forgive us and give us another chance, provide for us, rally us, and has already saved us. So to get the essence of joy? KNOW GOD'S CHARACTER.....His character proves that we are safe in His care...no matter what hell we are currently in....no matter if we understand or not...we don't NEED to understand....we just need to patiently endure.
Hebrews 10:35-36(NLT) So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
Psalm 40:1-3(NLT) I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair,out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed.They will put their trust in the Lord.
Love,
Fran
~JOY ALL WAYS~
