To Gag or Not To Gag, That Is The Question......

Somehow I doubt Shakespeare ever encountered this particular situation. Although, you never know…I suppose it’s possible that good old Wills had to chase around his little dog, Julius Woof-ser and stop him from eating the nasties….

***PETER PAN ALERT***

Ok, so here’s the new rule. In order to prevent all of you from gagging…….or worse, from now on when I’m going to post something that will be in gross detail I’ll start the entry with that. I know at this point only two of you know the whole story behind that warning…and at some point, either Beth or I will have to retell the story to fill you in…but until that day comes….just trust me when I write that. LOL

So…..this morning as we’re going through our normal routine to get ready for work, Sarge is being his usual cute self and wanting to cuddle every five minutes and wanting to have his toys thrown to him every two minutes. I had taken him outside already for his morning potty and he was happy. Well, he has learned our routine well enough that he knows we will be at work all day so if he has to go again before we have to leave he lets us know. Not a problem, I appreciate his mindful consideration so I don’t have to worry about an accident on the floor if we get stuck in traffic on the way home.

So anyway,…..when we got down and had about a half hour left before we had to leave, Sargie asked if he could go out again. Since I was doing my hair Ben took him this time. Moments later, they returned and Sargie trotted down the hall past me and popped the door open to go to his fort. (If you don’t know about that read my last entry) I looked over and saw him come out a moment later only to run into our bedroom and jump on the bed just as I heard Ben come walking down the hall. I saw him eating something and when I looked up at Ben, I noticed he had a banana in his hand and a small knife. So I assumed he was eating a piece of that. Now you have to understand, Sargie has a few favorite foods that he will tackle you for….and bananas are one of them. So I sweetly asked him, “Sargie, did daddy give you a piece of banana?” Sargie looked up at me and Ben with that oblivious “MMMM-MMM GOOD” look at the exact moment that Ben said, “No, I didn’t give him any yet…that’s why I came down here”

Oh, here we go again!

Instantly we were both like “….Dear Lord…what is he eating NOW?!?!?” We rushed into the bedroom and cornered him on the bed. There was a large wet spot….and as he innocently looked up at us we noticed he had white…..cream…on his lips and flecks of black…stuff….on his face. Both of us instantly recoiled but Ben was the first to say what we were both already thinking…. “What IS that????” I rushed around the side of the bed and as I did so, Sargie, who knows the routine by now, flipped the thing out of his mouth so we could inspect it closer. We both leaned in until we were hovering about three inches above this thing. Through all of Sargie’s spit, it looked like a cross between a chewed up piece of black gum and the inside of a walnut, neither of which would cause him to look like he had a milk mustache. As I got even closer to try and figure it out, all of a sudden Ben stood up straight and in a tone of voice that revealed he knew EXACTLY what it was, he burst out with… “AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…………….was that a CATERPILLAR?!?!?.....UGHHHHHHHH!!!!! (It was at this point that both of us traded our previous gargoyle like faces of disgust for even WORSE gargoyle like faces of disgust as Sargie sat in proud admiration of his tasty tidbit.) “I saw it outside on the ground and realized one of us had stepped on it…but didn’t see it again. Then I saw him pick up what I thought was a leaf off the kitchen floor when we came in…..I guess it wasn’t a leaf……UGHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Ben grabbed a Kleenex from my side of the bed and tossed it to me so I could pick up the bug carcass and wipe the boy’s face and mouth, but by the time he saw the Kleenex coming his way he quickly licked his lips. UGHHHH……..

By this time Ben was thoroughly disgusted and left the room at which time Sargie had the rapturous realization of “BANANA???? Dad’s got BANANA?!?!?! I want banana………BANANA……GET THE BANANA!!!!!!” and leapt off the bed chasing Ben into the kitchen.

Meanwhile, I stood there….staring nauseously at the wet spot on the comforter and trying to dab it dry with the Kleenex….. All the while the only thing running through my head was that famously gross line from The Lion King cartoon where Timon, (who’s voice was provided by the perfectly sardonic, Nathan Lane) grabs a caterpillar from a dead log and says, “OOOHHH, the cream filled kind!” and pops it into his mouth.

I don’t think I will ever be able to watch that again without gagging.

Not how I wanted to start my Friday morning!

The Good, The Bad and The Gag Reflex

I absolutely adore my younger brother.....hence the title. He loves Clint Eastwood movies and one of his favorites is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Not a personal favorite of mine, but he and I have enough movies that we do agree on that we can see past this one. LOL
So most nights he will call me and we will sit on the phone and chat over what the day was like, or an upcoming movie we both want to see like (INSERT SHAMELESS MOVIE PLUG HERE) An American Carol, which by the way looks like it will be HILARIOUS (and may I just say it's about time somebody gave conservative America a chance to verbally and visually smack around the OBNOXIOUS and ARROGANT Michael Moore in his own media of choice, the silver screen....but I digress)! One of our absolute favorite things to do is to watch Red Sox games on the phone together. Yes I said on the phone...we live about 25 miles away from each other which isn't really that far at all, we could watch it together in person easy enough, but there's a unique bonding that takes place when you watch it over the phone. I can't really explain it...but it's become our thing and we both enjoy it immensely. Last year my favorite part of the entire World Series was sitting up until far past my bedtime each night and screaming excitedly (not an easy feat when you want to raise the roof and jump up and down but you don't want to wake your husband who's sleeping in the next room....but somehow I managed...lol) into the phone as we watched our Bosox knock out the games like tipping over bowling pins. I am so thankful, not just for the brother sister relationship we share, but also for the friendship we've developed over the years.
So all of that to say.........I had stayed home from work yesterday because of a migraine and a fever and had felt pretty crappy all day. Ben had lovingly doted on me before he had to go to work and then called and checked on me during the day. Sarge kept an ever watchful guard on me all day long just in case the evil chipmunks that are trying to get into the house for the Winter decided to invade and try to carry me away. Of course he also dutifully checked to make sure that my reflexes were not being affected by my headache by periodically bringing me his squeaky monkey to throw.
As evening came my headache was finally subsiding and Rog made his nightly call to me. As we chatted and watched a tv show together I realized that even though I hadn't felt well all day and I could have scrathed the day off as a really bad day and just generally felt sorry for myself, I really COULDN'T. How can it be a crappy day when I'm surrounded by people (and a mini marine) that love me? Yeah I felt crappy....but how I feel doesn't determine the course of the day....it's just how I FEEL....feelings are fickle. So this morning even though I still felt pretty crappy I woke up and decided that no matter what happens today will be a great day.

Ohhhhhhhhh WAIT..............I almost forgot........we covered The Good, we covered The Bad....what about The Gag Reflex?

So as I'm laying in bed this morning for my final 5 minutes before having to get up and I'm listening to the radio and deciding that no matter what comes my way this is going to be a good day.......Ben came running into the bedroom, "Fran, come quick.....Sarge threw up under my desk!"
Sooooooooo I jump out of bed.......and go into the office where my sweet Marine is standing halfway across the room and shining a flashlight under the desk and saying, "EWWW..it stinks.." (I don't know about you...but so far in my life I don't think I've ever encounterd vomit that DIDN'T stink...however this particular one brought back memories of Peter Pan...Beth you know what I mean!) It was at this moment that I was about to respond when suddenly the boy was behind Ben and began heaving again....(Of course, we temporarily forgot..our little fluff has a thing for barfing in twos because just once is never enough...he might miss a chunk) Immediately we went into fight or flight mode "Grab him! Get him into the hall!! QUICK!!(we got to the hall...still no barf) QUICK, get him to the kitchen if you can...less mess!!!" So with tiny white paws dragging behind him Ben ran to the kitchen and dropped the boy in a heap then ran across the room as if he had just deployed a grenade. Meanwhile the pitiful little fluff who by this point had been so upset with the whole ordeal, and slinked over to lean up against me for comfort, decided that it was too much for his bladder that was still waiting for his morning potty break and as I stood comforting him decided to pee instead of barfing. **sigh** Not just a piddle....not just a puddle....no....this was the equivelant to Lake Michigan......
So as I stood there amid a husband scrambeling for paper towels, a dog with soggy paws looking at me with eyes that begged, "I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to..." and a headache making an appearance for the third day in a row I had to choose. (This is the stuff Excedrin commercials are made of...WHY haven't they called me??) Moments ago I had decided that no matter what this was going to be a good day....did I MEAN that? Tick....tick....tick....tick...the moments passed.....yes, this is covered under my "Anti crappy day" policy.
Yeah you heard me....I'm sorry, but life just ISN'T bad....stuff happens, inconvenient and sometimes frustrating stuff...and sometimes nasty stuff too...(I did NOT feed him whatever that was..EWWW....) but is that enough to say life sucks or this day sucks? No.....not really..........not at all actually.......it's still just STUFF. There is STILL ALWAYS going to be too much to be thankful for. The same head that has a fever and headache is the same head that holds all the great memories of the past and hopes for tomorrow and the same nose that smelled that vomit is the same nose that enjoys the smell of apple pie baking, and the same dog that puked and peed is the same dog that lovingly wakes me up when Ben tells him to "Go wake up mommy". The same things that register the bad things also register the good things. ALWAYS. So I choose to focus on the good and be thankful in spite of those bad times....life is just too good not to.