To Gag or Not To Gag, That Is The Question......

Somehow I doubt Shakespeare ever encountered this particular situation. Although, you never know…I suppose it’s possible that good old Wills had to chase around his little dog, Julius Woof-ser and stop him from eating the nasties….

***PETER PAN ALERT***

Ok, so here’s the new rule. In order to prevent all of you from gagging…….or worse, from now on when I’m going to post something that will be in gross detail I’ll start the entry with that. I know at this point only two of you know the whole story behind that warning…and at some point, either Beth or I will have to retell the story to fill you in…but until that day comes….just trust me when I write that. LOL

So…..this morning as we’re going through our normal routine to get ready for work, Sarge is being his usual cute self and wanting to cuddle every five minutes and wanting to have his toys thrown to him every two minutes. I had taken him outside already for his morning potty and he was happy. Well, he has learned our routine well enough that he knows we will be at work all day so if he has to go again before we have to leave he lets us know. Not a problem, I appreciate his mindful consideration so I don’t have to worry about an accident on the floor if we get stuck in traffic on the way home.

So anyway,…..when we got down and had about a half hour left before we had to leave, Sargie asked if he could go out again. Since I was doing my hair Ben took him this time. Moments later, they returned and Sargie trotted down the hall past me and popped the door open to go to his fort. (If you don’t know about that read my last entry) I looked over and saw him come out a moment later only to run into our bedroom and jump on the bed just as I heard Ben come walking down the hall. I saw him eating something and when I looked up at Ben, I noticed he had a banana in his hand and a small knife. So I assumed he was eating a piece of that. Now you have to understand, Sargie has a few favorite foods that he will tackle you for….and bananas are one of them. So I sweetly asked him, “Sargie, did daddy give you a piece of banana?” Sargie looked up at me and Ben with that oblivious “MMMM-MMM GOOD” look at the exact moment that Ben said, “No, I didn’t give him any yet…that’s why I came down here”

Oh, here we go again!

Instantly we were both like “….Dear Lord…what is he eating NOW?!?!?” We rushed into the bedroom and cornered him on the bed. There was a large wet spot….and as he innocently looked up at us we noticed he had white…..cream…on his lips and flecks of black…stuff….on his face. Both of us instantly recoiled but Ben was the first to say what we were both already thinking…. “What IS that????” I rushed around the side of the bed and as I did so, Sargie, who knows the routine by now, flipped the thing out of his mouth so we could inspect it closer. We both leaned in until we were hovering about three inches above this thing. Through all of Sargie’s spit, it looked like a cross between a chewed up piece of black gum and the inside of a walnut, neither of which would cause him to look like he had a milk mustache. As I got even closer to try and figure it out, all of a sudden Ben stood up straight and in a tone of voice that revealed he knew EXACTLY what it was, he burst out with… “AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…………….was that a CATERPILLAR?!?!?.....UGHHHHHHHH!!!!! (It was at this point that both of us traded our previous gargoyle like faces of disgust for even WORSE gargoyle like faces of disgust as Sargie sat in proud admiration of his tasty tidbit.) “I saw it outside on the ground and realized one of us had stepped on it…but didn’t see it again. Then I saw him pick up what I thought was a leaf off the kitchen floor when we came in…..I guess it wasn’t a leaf……UGHHHHHHHH!!!!”

Ben grabbed a Kleenex from my side of the bed and tossed it to me so I could pick up the bug carcass and wipe the boy’s face and mouth, but by the time he saw the Kleenex coming his way he quickly licked his lips. UGHHHH……..

By this time Ben was thoroughly disgusted and left the room at which time Sargie had the rapturous realization of “BANANA???? Dad’s got BANANA?!?!?! I want banana………BANANA……GET THE BANANA!!!!!!” and leapt off the bed chasing Ben into the kitchen.

Meanwhile, I stood there….staring nauseously at the wet spot on the comforter and trying to dab it dry with the Kleenex….. All the while the only thing running through my head was that famously gross line from The Lion King cartoon where Timon, (who’s voice was provided by the perfectly sardonic, Nathan Lane) grabs a caterpillar from a dead log and says, “OOOHHH, the cream filled kind!” and pops it into his mouth.

I don’t think I will ever be able to watch that again without gagging.

Not how I wanted to start my Friday morning!

The Birth of a Mini-Marine

So I grew up in a pet loving family. We always had a pet of some sort, whether it was one we had rescued somewhere or one we had purchased. Over the years we had everything from fish, birds,dogs and cats, to a duck and a horse. It was just normal to have a pet. The constant however was always a dog. Regardless of what other pets we had, we always had at least one dog in the house. When I moved out on my own I considered getting a puppy, but financially and time wise I just couldn't do it. It wasn't that bad though, my roommate at the time had a big gallut of a dog and three cats so even though they weren't mine, they would hang out in my room enough that I felt like I had a pet.
When Ben and I got married though I just assumed it would be a short matter of time before we introduced a little fuzzball into our home. By then I had developed an allergy to cats however so for the sake of survival it now had to be a dog, but no big deal, dogs are more like family anyway I thought so that's a better choice. Well, my dear husband had other ideas. He had never owned a dog...oh he liked them...to a point...but too many people whining about how hard they are to care for and how much time they take had soured him to the idea. He was convinced that owning a dog would forever change the dynamics of our life and we would never be able to do ANYTHING we wanted to do again. Thus began the long 71/2 year journey of showing him that while it does change your life, it changes it for the better. Thankfully I'm a pretty patient person with these such things. So over the years we reached milestones like, "They're cute" and "maybe oneday" then we moved up to, "If we had a little more money" and "I wouldn't mind getting a pug...they ARE cute". Still however he just wasn't ready to take the plunge. So me being the person that I am, I continued to pray...oh I had been praying all along, but now I really kicked it into overdrive. "Lord, please show him that having a pet won't take away from our life, but it will just enhance it." Then I began noticing a strange chain of events. Suddenly, hurt animals began coming into our life. My husband, although a tough and proud Marine, is a tender hearted gentle man, garnering him the nickname "Gentle Ben" from many of our friends. Well the first little visitor we had was on our way home one day. As we pulled down our street we noticed that one of the little chipmunks who lived in our backyard was crawling slowly and having trouble crossing the street. I had Ben pull over the car and I got out to inspect him. It wasn't obvious at first, but I had an inkling that he had been hit by a car. I ran back to the car and dumped out my makeup bag and went back to get him. We dove headfirst into animal field medic mode to try and save him. Unfortunately by 9pm that night, Chip was gone. My husband didn't know what to do as I cried so he hugged me and admitted that he had really hoped he had made it. A few months later, it was a squirrel that had been electrocuted while trying to cross a transformer. He lasted even less time. The big one however was the week of Christmas 2007. As we sat at work a bird flew into the window behind my desk. All of us office workers came over and checked on it thinking it was just stunned and would be ok. After an hour though we realized that something was wrong. Her wing was broken and she couldn't fly away. Peanut came home with us that night. She was a young cedar waxwing and she immediately took to life in our home. She had no fear and as we nursed her that night she hopped onto my finger and stared at the computer monitor as I worked online. She was a complete joy and every morning and night we would spend hours talking to her and letting her hop around. We decided to get her a giant cage and rehab her at home until we could release her in the Spring. She had become an integral part of our already happy little home. Then on Christmas Eve something happened..we noticed she had become quiet. We talked to her and let her out of her cage to hop around like usual, but she just looked at us. By that night she took her last laboured breath as I held her, sobbing. That was a hard blow for Ben too. He had grown to love her too and we talked about how much we missed her for weeks. He had come to realize that having a critter to care for didn't hinder our lives at all..it just enhanced them.
A few months later we got an email from Mike. A friend's daughter worked with a woman who was abusing her dog. It was a puppy that they had gotten because it was cute, but had no idea how to care for a dog and finally before they permanently did any damage to the dog, she decided to get rid of it. Immediately the email went out far and wide looking for a home for the little thing. We work in an office of animal lovers so I immediately sent out the alarm. As it happened one of our co-workers had a sister who had a house full of pets and wanted him.
We agreed to have the dog stay at our house and then have another friend who does animal training take the dog and de-program him from the abuse before sending him to his new owners.
When the car pulled into our driveway the next night and my husband saw his little ears, eyes and nose peeking over the dashboard however, he was in love. Do to an unexpected turn of events, in a few days Ben announced to me that he loved the dog and we needed to adopt him..... and Sarge (named by daddy Ben) came home to live with us and officialy became a Babij.
Now, I fully realize that we're partial to this little ball of fluff because he's our boy, but I do believe he's the smartest, sweetest and most entertaining little dog ever.
From begging for his favorite food lettuce, and learning to wave his paw at us when he wants something, and asking to be dried off when coming in from the rain (which is another story for another post) to his addiction to dryer sheets and empty toilet paper rolls. He's been a joy in our lives and now we can't imagine life without our little mini-marine.