Cloud Shadows Cannot Hide a Good God

Psalm 34:8 The Voice 

Taste of His goodness; see how wonderful the Eternal truly is. Anyone who puts trust in Him will be blessed and comforted.

I love Autumn. It's so beautiful here in New England...although....it's usually far too brief as we jump from sweltering heat and oppressive humidity right into bone chilling wind and cold. It seems like just as the trees are finally all starting to look beautiful together...whoosh....super winds and rain pull them all off and we have months of bare, dull shades of gray and brown. Today I stood looking out my office window, to a cluster of trees on the other side of the parking lot. The sky was a vivid bright blue with clusters of fluffy white clouds mixed with clusters of fluffy dark gray clouds. Some of the trees were completely bare, some were covered in leaves of bright red or bright yellow, while others were still fully bright green and lush. It was windy too and I watched trees, bushes and tall grasses moving back and forth in the same direction the clouds were moving across the sky. Even though the sun wasn't visible, beyond the cloud shadows it made it's presence known with golden white light that rested on random things here and there.

A popular little thing that us Christians say sometimes is one person or group will burst out with, "God is good all the time....."  then another person or group will respond back with, ".....and all the time God is good." It's an encouraging rallying cry, that can find the Christians in a room full of people faster than a light switch can be flipped. People smile and get excited...think of it kind of like a spiritual fist bump.
The very thing we need as a rallying cry as we go through difficult seasons seems to be absent most of the time....at least for us Western Christians. Maybe that's one of the differences between us and our persecuted brothers and sisters throughout history and around the globe....we have an addiction to comfort.
Paul sang in prison, Stephen prayed for those stoning him, 40 martyrs of Sevaste willingly chose to freeze, bare naked in the middle of a lake rather than take the easy way out, Germanicus, Polycarp, Bonhoeffer, Elliot....and many more endured horrible things in their lives....far beyond just the normal crummy life circumstances we deal with. The ones I mentioned actually died for their faith....horribly cruel deaths...yet every one of them believed God was good ALL the time. In one of my favorite documentaries by Darren Wilson there is one sweet spirited man, that I just adore, who shows the scars of cigarette burns on his torso from being tortured for his faith. Yet he still cries tears of joy from the passionate affection he feels for how good God is....ALL the time.

God is good all the time.....ALL the time.....there is no hiatus...there is no vacation....there is no stalemate....there is no busy signal....and there is no failure to launch....God is good A-L-L the time....even when life is overshadowed by clouds of trouble....even when winds of change and harshness blow....even when seasons go from lush to stark.....even when warmth turns to cold.....just like the sun was still shining behind those clouds today as I looked outside...God is still good no matter what we face in life....and if we look for Him...we will be able to see His bright golden white light resting on things as we move along...reminding us that He has never left us alone and soon the clouds will pass.

Love,
Fran
~Joy All Ways~

Enough is Enough...and That's Enough

Soooooo it’s been a loooooong five days. I woke up last Friday with a very distinct prelude to a cold. That hollowed out feeling in your stomach; a slight fever and that “THING” in your sinuses that makes you sound as if you’re talking from the bottom of a well. I did my usual, loaded up on Zycam and Tylenol, and bundled up. Figured it might last a day and then things would be back to normal….other than that though, I wasn’t really too bummed because I knew it meant I would actually get some rest over the weekend.

**sigh** Friday came and went, Saturday came and went, Sunday came and went….STILL felt like a lump of germs….Monday came and went, Tuesday came…..still no relief. I slept until about noon when the dog woke me up. I went to take some Dayquil and had to stop myself. I hadn’t eaten and through trial and error Dayquil and I have come to an agreement. I will never again take it on an empty stomach and it will never again make me lose my cookies in an unflattering way. So upon recollection of this agreement I knew I had to eat something.

I shuffled my way to the kitchen trying not to trip over the fluff boy along the way because he was so joyously jumping up and down that I had finally felt good enough to get out of bed and play with him. All the while I’m feeling like a slug.

So I arrive in the kitchen and open the refrigerator only to realize there is no food that doesn’t require cooking….and last time I checked condiments, though readily available, still don’t make a meal. **SIGH**….not even bread for toast...I really must go grocery shopping. Hmmm…no energy to cook and no appetite to eat anything having to be cooked. Time for plan B, I decide to go look and see what canned goods I have. Maybe a nice soup…. So I trudge downstairs to the where the pantry is and proceed to open the cupboards. Hmmm…the only soup is cream of chicken, cream of celery and cream of mushroom. Not an appetizing choice at the moment. Cranberry sauce….ehhh…no…. Tons of tomato sauce and canned tomatoes for Mr. B’s chilies and salsas….and every hot sauce imaginable to man…..I really do need to write an entry one of these days about the Bear and his pepper fetish. Anyway, just then I hit the no cooking required mother load. Let’s see a whole little section of possibilities….albacore tuna, wax beans, beans and franks, and turkey Spam. After much deliberation,…I settled on the beans and franks. Not at all a favorite, but considering I couldn’t taste anything ANYWAY it seemed the least offensive.

A short time later as Sargie and I sat curled up in bed, me eating my lunch feeling crummy and him gnawing on his bone I had another one of “THOSE” moments. What good is coming out of this….5 days of feeling crummy….where is that, “oh, well that makes it all worth while” moment….it had to be there somewhere and I just hadn’t seen it yet. Yes, if you haven’t figured it out by now I REALLY DO believe this about EVERYTHING and REALLY DO attempt to always practice what I preach. So I asked God, “Where is it? What was the reason behind me being here this long….I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much or had much impact on anyone or anything. I mean, I trust that you have a reason….I just sure as heck don’t see it…..”

So I finished lunch and decided to turn on the computer and catch up on emails and Facebook and consider my next blog entry as I pondered my question. Just then, the phone rang. I considered not answering it…I felt crummy and the thought of talking to somebody was a bit daunting. I decided to check the caller ID though and see who it was. Lori…hmmm…it was after her lunchtime and she knew I was home sick, so she was probably checking in to see how I was feeling. I picked it up.

What met me next was a sound you hate to hear in general and it’s even worse from the other end of a phone…especially when it’s coming from somebody you care about. Sobs, hysterical and frantic sobs. I immediately jumped up and tried to get her to tell me what was wrong. Amid the sounds of crying, her car keys and door alert in the background and the car engine starting I heard the word “mom” and I instantly remembered her mom had gone to a Dr appointment that morning… My heart sank, Oh Lord, no….not her mom…not now….. Over the next few moments she explained to me as best she could, what was going on….and the outlook was bad…VERY bad. Instantly I began to pray out loud…..to pray for peace, to pray for wisdom, to pray for protection as she tried to drive on one of the busiest highways from her job, 6 towns away all the way to the hospital where her mother was in the ER. Anything that crossed my mind as being important to pray for at that moment I threw in there like a machine gun set on rapid fire.

In an instant, I told her if she wanted me to go with her, I would, and she did. I swear I have never gotten showered and dressed, walked the dog and fixed my hair with time to spare, so quickly in my life. I sent out a quick blurb to some friends who know her and called Ben to let him know what was up and I waited.

In the hours that followed, there was a lot of waiting and hugging and waiting and crying. At one point as we waited for her to be given a room of her own and transported from the ER, I sat in the waiting room thinking and people watching. Then I realized something…..if I hadn’t been sick for the past five days I would have been at work when this happened. If I had been at work I wouldn’t have been able to pray with Lori at that moment, I wouldn’t have been able to jump up and go with her to the hospital at a moments notice and I wouldn’t have been able to stay with them as they waited. So I had my answer….my “Oh, well that makes it all worth while” moment. Was five days of bed-ridden crummy-ness worth it to be able to be there for a friend when she needed it? Absolutely….and I would go through it all again and worse if need be.

Lori and I talked a lot last night…. In person for hours and over IM for a while too. In the end we BOTH concluded that now more than ever, regardless of what happens in life, good and bad….it ALL has a purpose and good will ALWAYS come of it…no matter what. It sounds corny, and the ultimate in Pollyanna thinking, but it’s sure a heck of a lot better than the alternative. I would far rather go through life looking for the good in all the sad, painful, and frustrating things that come my way than to turn bitter and miserable every time things don’t turn out the way I had hoped.

This morning as I was catching up on reading my devotions I was intrigued by yesterday’s entry. The entire thing was very good, but one of my favorite scriptures was highlighted and it was just soooooo fitting.

“Proverbs 31:25 reminds us, "she can laugh at the days to come."

She [The Proverbs 31 woman] was filled with such incredible joy not because life was perfect but simply because she had decided to make laughter, peace, and truth the hallmarks of her life. Proverbs 31:30 goes on to say this was a woman to be praised because she so reverenced God in the shrine of her heart. She knew without a doubt, He was - and still is - enough.”

Now Lori and her family have a long road ahead of them, and it won’t be easy… and it won’t be tearless….but ultimately, good will come of it…every single moment of it. Things in my life won’t always go the way I hoped and sometimes they will just plain suck and look hopeless, BUT good WILL come of every moment of it. Why? Simple…..because God is and always will be….ENOUGH.

The Good, The Bad and The Gag Reflex

I absolutely adore my younger brother.....hence the title. He loves Clint Eastwood movies and one of his favorites is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Not a personal favorite of mine, but he and I have enough movies that we do agree on that we can see past this one. LOL
So most nights he will call me and we will sit on the phone and chat over what the day was like, or an upcoming movie we both want to see like (INSERT SHAMELESS MOVIE PLUG HERE) An American Carol, which by the way looks like it will be HILARIOUS (and may I just say it's about time somebody gave conservative America a chance to verbally and visually smack around the OBNOXIOUS and ARROGANT Michael Moore in his own media of choice, the silver screen....but I digress)! One of our absolute favorite things to do is to watch Red Sox games on the phone together. Yes I said on the phone...we live about 25 miles away from each other which isn't really that far at all, we could watch it together in person easy enough, but there's a unique bonding that takes place when you watch it over the phone. I can't really explain it...but it's become our thing and we both enjoy it immensely. Last year my favorite part of the entire World Series was sitting up until far past my bedtime each night and screaming excitedly (not an easy feat when you want to raise the roof and jump up and down but you don't want to wake your husband who's sleeping in the next room....but somehow I managed...lol) into the phone as we watched our Bosox knock out the games like tipping over bowling pins. I am so thankful, not just for the brother sister relationship we share, but also for the friendship we've developed over the years.
So all of that to say.........I had stayed home from work yesterday because of a migraine and a fever and had felt pretty crappy all day. Ben had lovingly doted on me before he had to go to work and then called and checked on me during the day. Sarge kept an ever watchful guard on me all day long just in case the evil chipmunks that are trying to get into the house for the Winter decided to invade and try to carry me away. Of course he also dutifully checked to make sure that my reflexes were not being affected by my headache by periodically bringing me his squeaky monkey to throw.
As evening came my headache was finally subsiding and Rog made his nightly call to me. As we chatted and watched a tv show together I realized that even though I hadn't felt well all day and I could have scrathed the day off as a really bad day and just generally felt sorry for myself, I really COULDN'T. How can it be a crappy day when I'm surrounded by people (and a mini marine) that love me? Yeah I felt crappy....but how I feel doesn't determine the course of the day....it's just how I FEEL....feelings are fickle. So this morning even though I still felt pretty crappy I woke up and decided that no matter what happens today will be a great day.

Ohhhhhhhhh WAIT..............I almost forgot........we covered The Good, we covered The Bad....what about The Gag Reflex?

So as I'm laying in bed this morning for my final 5 minutes before having to get up and I'm listening to the radio and deciding that no matter what comes my way this is going to be a good day.......Ben came running into the bedroom, "Fran, come quick.....Sarge threw up under my desk!"
Sooooooooo I jump out of bed.......and go into the office where my sweet Marine is standing halfway across the room and shining a flashlight under the desk and saying, "EWWW..it stinks.." (I don't know about you...but so far in my life I don't think I've ever encounterd vomit that DIDN'T stink...however this particular one brought back memories of Peter Pan...Beth you know what I mean!) It was at this moment that I was about to respond when suddenly the boy was behind Ben and began heaving again....(Of course, we temporarily forgot..our little fluff has a thing for barfing in twos because just once is never enough...he might miss a chunk) Immediately we went into fight or flight mode "Grab him! Get him into the hall!! QUICK!!(we got to the hall...still no barf) QUICK, get him to the kitchen if you can...less mess!!!" So with tiny white paws dragging behind him Ben ran to the kitchen and dropped the boy in a heap then ran across the room as if he had just deployed a grenade. Meanwhile the pitiful little fluff who by this point had been so upset with the whole ordeal, and slinked over to lean up against me for comfort, decided that it was too much for his bladder that was still waiting for his morning potty break and as I stood comforting him decided to pee instead of barfing. **sigh** Not just a piddle....not just a puddle....no....this was the equivelant to Lake Michigan......
So as I stood there amid a husband scrambeling for paper towels, a dog with soggy paws looking at me with eyes that begged, "I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to..." and a headache making an appearance for the third day in a row I had to choose. (This is the stuff Excedrin commercials are made of...WHY haven't they called me??) Moments ago I had decided that no matter what this was going to be a good day....did I MEAN that? Tick....tick....tick....tick...the moments passed.....yes, this is covered under my "Anti crappy day" policy.
Yeah you heard me....I'm sorry, but life just ISN'T bad....stuff happens, inconvenient and sometimes frustrating stuff...and sometimes nasty stuff too...(I did NOT feed him whatever that was..EWWW....) but is that enough to say life sucks or this day sucks? No.....not really..........not at all actually.......it's still just STUFF. There is STILL ALWAYS going to be too much to be thankful for. The same head that has a fever and headache is the same head that holds all the great memories of the past and hopes for tomorrow and the same nose that smelled that vomit is the same nose that enjoys the smell of apple pie baking, and the same dog that puked and peed is the same dog that lovingly wakes me up when Ben tells him to "Go wake up mommy". The same things that register the bad things also register the good things. ALWAYS. So I choose to focus on the good and be thankful in spite of those bad times....life is just too good not to.