Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joy. Show all posts

Thursday, November 1, 2018

Throw Back Thursday - Year in Review

  This will be the last TBT from the old b+ blog days. Life got in the way and while my friends and co-authors continued writing there, I faded off into the sunset that year. It was interesting to me though as I re-read this last post that the things I remember being so overwhelmed by that year, seem so distant now. I remember the events, but perspective has long faded the stress and other emotions attached to the memories. My friends on the blog and I were members of a web community back then called 43 Things. It was a goal posting and tracking community where we would cheer each other on while making some great long term friends as we all "did life".

  Every year the 43 creators (a.k.a. Robots) of the community would post stats to show us our progress from year to year. It was a great tool for future planning as well as a great reminder to not get sidelined by the things you hadn't yet accomplished by remembering what you had. On the original blog entry I had posted a screen shot of my year in review...but with the end of the original web community long gone, that image was lost and with it any ability to find it again. Some of the things I recall going through that year though, were...we bought a house, that turned out to be a cursed money pit, our car died and had to be replaced, I became violently ill and almost died, we went from 0 debt to living on credit cards just to make it from week to week. Surviving at times with no heat in the house and almost no food for weeks and months on end....and that wasn't the worst either. It was a rough year that caused a lot of emotional, mental, physical and even relational stress in our lives. I recall many times wanting to just walk away from everything and start over. However, I also recall being faced with the decision to either be crushed by my circumstances or to daily fight to choose joy....no matter how seemingly miniscule it may be.

  In the almost 13 years since I originally posted this entry below, Ben and I have survived many other difficulties including job losses, deaths, betrayals, homelessness and now cancer. However, through it all.....God has ALWAYS been faithful, He's always been good, and He's always come to our rescue and sent provisions and encouragement. Yes...in the moments of crisis we can get knocked down...and even have pity parties...but it is STILL TRUE TODAY.....that in spite of all the bad....the good STILL far outweighs the bad if you look for it instead of simply dwelling on the bad.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 The Voice 

We are cracked and chipped from our afflictions on all sides, but we are not crushed by them. We are bewildered at times, but we do not give in to despair. We are persecuted, but we have not been abandoned. We have been knocked down, but we are not destroyed.


Love,
Fran
~Joy ALL Ways~

Sunday, December 18, 2005

My year in review



Interesting. To see the robots post stats like this and help me see things in a new light is very interesting. To be honest….this has been by far the hardest year of my life. It seemed like no matter what I did at every corner was some kind of trial. I’m even going through one now as I write this. I have had to battle my way through so much this year….even to live,after almost dying this past April.
I guess this website has really helped me put things in perspective and has helped keep me focused on the positive and the good things instead of all of the bad. The bad things….though very bad…were STILL far outweighed by the good….....and that definitely is something to be thankful for. So maybe…maybe 2005 wasn’t the worst year of my life after all…..maybe it was the best because it taught me that even in the face of adversity life is worth living.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

I CHOOSE JOY....and why you should too!



I've always believed that joy is a choice and I still do. In my opinion, joy and happiness aren't the same thing and you can definitely have one without the other. Happiness doesn't exist in a bad moment....but joy actually can.
Happiness is a state of being..or in other terms...the natural flowing side effect of a good experience. Sooooo.......what determines if the experience is good or not? Well, that comes from each individual persons own definition of what they like or dislike. For example, I dislike snakes, but my husband likes them and can and will pick them up and enjoy holding and looking at them as if he's holding and looking at say.....a kitten. In that moment he's unbelievably happy....me.....not so much. Similarly, I really like the experience of shopping and can literally spend hours wandering through racks and aisles looking for bargains. In that moment I'm euphorically happy....Ben....not even close..he's in chest gripping dread thinking of what I could be spending or even considering spending.
Consider the photo of a person in a bright yellow bathing suit smiling at an under water camera with bubbles coming from their nose for someone that may trigger great memories of a tropical vacation and lots of laughter and adventure......good experience = happiness. For the person sitting next to them however, that exact same photo may trigger horrible memories where they couldn't breathe under water...or fear of the unclear water behind them that could be hiding dangerous things.....bad experience = unhappiness. How about the public announcement of a pregnancy or an engagement? For some those things are wonderful and happy because they've had good experiences, while for others those things can cause deep sadness, feelings of inadequacy, and even depression because they long for things that have yet to be fulfilled. A photo of a loving couple sitting in a romantically lit restaurant staring into each others eyes longingly may make one person's heart go pitter patter with feelings of romance.....while another feels disgust as they look for wedding rings and wonder if they are having an affair. Happiness is not an across the board given....it's subjectively based on our experiences or perceptions.

 Joy, however, well...it's more than an event...it goes deeper than that....it's a little more abstract....it's an essence....an essence of being one way in spite of things being another way....and it usually requires our cooperation.....it's a purposefully made choice. How though do we choose joy? How do we envelope that essence? It starts with us deciding WHERE our joy comes from.....what is our source. I mean dissecting the raw REAL source we draw our definition of joy from. Does our joy come from the fleeting and completely imperfect things this life and other humans have to offer...or does it come from something else? If our definition of joy is based on life circumstances and people....then we've unintentionally and unknowingly tied our definition of joy in with our definition of happiness. If that happens....our joy will always fall short and we will always be on a roller coaster ride based on how our day or our life is going. I don't know about you, but I don't like emotional whiplash.

For us Christians, our definition of joy cannot be tied to our definition of happiness. Instead, it MUST be based on the character traits of who we know and are learning the triune God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) to be.  
I cannot stress that last comment enough....so I'm going to repeat myself in a slightly different way...

.....our definition of joy MUST ONLY be based on THE CHARACTER TRAITS of GOD.......NOT on a person, circumstance, event, or situation and certainly NOT on a feeling.....not even on how we perceive God SHOULD perform....but on His character traits. 

 Like it or not, there are some things we Jesus folk really need to understand....and we just HAVE to grasp this because it's literally causing way too many Christians to sink in their faith walk because they are walking around miserable, hopeless, bitter and just plain dried out. Weary is one thing....we ALL get battle weary....but to be spiritually mummified is a whole other issue. We're supposed to bring salt and light to the world....not Jesus jerky. I know that may sound funny...but seriously....pay attention here...

1) Humans have free will, which means we and those around us can make horrible choices that are cruel and selfish and downright evil and can affect....well....almost everything. (Free will explained) (i.e. a) people we work with can be jerks b) spouses can lie or say cruel things c) drivers can cut us off d) people can commit heinous crimes etc. etc. etc. )

2) Since the fall of man....we live in a "fallen nature" (imperfect) world that is, ALSO like it or not, subject to the natural laws of science and nature instead of God's perfect laws. ( i.e. a) gravity pulls things down b) germs and lack of sleep can cause us to get sick c) weather patterns can wreak disastrous havoc d) lemon bars, potato chips and fettuccine alfredo make us fat etc. etc. etc.)

To choose to be joyful in the face of adversity and cruelty and trauma is hard....sometimes it feels impossible...but I promise you...it's not. I've been through some really hard things, some traumatic things, some potentially embittering things....many at the hands of people that I loved and trusted....and even now there is a battle that my husband and I are fighting together that could easily be cause to steal our joy. However, through EVERYTHING....even when I'm too wounded or weary to actually talk to God....I go to His Word and let Him speak to me and I feel my joy...my essence of being, restored in the midst of whatever hell I'm tearfully fighting through.
The cooperation portion of the essence is I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that there is hope. I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that God is actually who He says He is. I have to ALLOW myself to BELIEVE that God actually really does love me and doesn't want to hurt me and let me down the way humans have hurt me and let me down. Don't fool yourself either...we all SAY we believe that...and sing the songs and run around like joy filled Polly Pockets when life is grand....but the reality is...when life is horrible we do not function in joy...we function in fear, anger, CONTROL, bitterness, rejection, etc, etc, etc. Choosing to cooperate with joy takes effort....God knows and has always known that. That's why in the Bible He makes a big deal of telling the Israelites to set up stones of remembrance to REMIND themselves of God's character through what He's done for them. He protected them, rescued them, defended them, repeatedly forgave them and gave them another chance, provided for them, rallied them.....SAVED them. In Hebrews 13:8 we are told flat out that Jesus (part of the triune God- Father, Son, Holy Spirit) is the SAME...yesterday, today and FOREVER....so guess what. That means God will STILL protect us, rescue us, defend us, repeatedly forgive us and give us another chance, provide for us, rally us, and has already saved us. So to get the essence of joy? KNOW GOD'S CHARACTER.....His character proves that we are safe in His care...no matter what hell we are currently in....no matter if we understand or not...we don't NEED to understand....we just need to patiently endure.

Hebrews 10:35-36(NLT) So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.

Psalm 40:1-3(NLT) I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair,out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed.They will put their trust in the Lord.

Here are some links to verses to help you learn the character of God and some to help you get that essence of joy going in the face of adversity. ( Click on each reference to read the verse.)

Love,
Fran
~JOY ALL WAYS~

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Harvesting Pearls

Question: What do you and I, Wayne Elsey and recording artist Melody Gardot have in common?

Answer: Read on and see.

So last Thursday I was standing at my bedside removing my watch and praying about what my next entry here should be. As I got ready to settle in for a night of writing my eyes casually glanced over to a beautiful three strand pearl necklace Ben gave me for Christmas. I stared at them for a moment, thinking ....there was something about those pearls. I picked them up and began sliding my fingers up and down the smooth strands. "What is it about pearls....?" Now, I know how and where pearls come from and how they are made and where they are mentioned in the Bible but I knew there was something deeper, somewhere deeper I was supposed to go with this...so I kept praying.

One of my habits when writing is to collect my thoughts, ideas, photos and tasty tidbits first by throwing them into one massive pile on the page. Then I sort through the page as I sort through my thoughts. It tends to be a bit eclectic like I am....lol. So that night I looked for the perfect picture of a pearl or pearls, next I dug up some facts about how pearls are created. As I read through what I already knew about the process it hit me very distinctly what it was about that pearl necklace that I was supposed to share here at Anthem. By this time however it was pretty late at night and I was tired so I opted to finish the next day.
Interesting how things so simple develop...
The next night, however, I was in the ER. Don't worry, I'll spare you the gross details. Needless to say however, what we thought was food poisoning turned out to be some sort of violent stomach flu (probably caught from one of the beloved sprouts at sprout central) which forced me into 72 hours of bed rest...and shall we say......purging......at home. Something I didn't feel like my busy life could afford, but I am certainly thankful for now....if for no other reason than it opened the door for me to expand what I wanted to share with you about those pearls. Come on...did you really expect me to NOT find the good in it? PFFFTTTT....oh how little you know me. LOL.

So......back to my question.... What do you and I, Wayne Elsey and Melody Gardot have in common?
Well, let's start out by answering who Melody Gardot is. She is a chart topping artist who sings as if her vocal chords are made of velvet. I love jazz and blues and so when I listen to her she makes my eyes close and I wander to a most relaxing place. She also brings out my French heritage...she is American, but her music is reminiscent of everything my Parisian French roots call out for. If you haven't guessed it, I am a fan.
Since I was forced to be home in bed Sunday instead of at church as I usually am I happened to have the television on to keep me and the fuzzboy company as I lay convalescing and I saw CBS' Sunday Morning. A program I have liked since I was a little kid, but rarely ever get to see. Sooo....I'm going to let you read the brief transcript of Anthony Mason's piece with Miss Gardot because it will fill you in far better than I on who this woman is and how she came to be the artist she is today. How Melody Gardot Found Her Voice

 Now I don't know anything about Miss Gardot's personal life other than what I have seen on tv and read, and I don't know what her faith is if she even has any. She may or may not agree with my beliefs...although I would like to think she would, only because it is extremely evident to me that she is a woman who has MUCH to be thankful for. She took a life altering event, something that could have destroyed her...literally, and with much work made it into something beautiful for all to see and share. In short, she overcame.

Now, on to Wayne Elsey whom I also mentioned. Who is he? He's an inspiration...a doer and not just a talker. A man of vision and heart, in my opinion, he's a hero. Not just for deeds he's done, anyone can do a good deed...and any rich man can do MANY good deeds. A hero is defined by the heart of service behind the deed...Mr Elsey knows he has been given much so that he can give much. A servants heart is always heroic, especially when it seeks to always remain humble in it's service. He inspires me beyond words...and he should do the same for you. He is the founder of the massive international charity that is Soles 4 Souls. Someone else my illness this weekend helped me slow down long enough to be reminded of. You may read the brief history of how he started his charity here Soles 4 Souls. As you can see, the life altering events that could have destroyed his own life only propelled him to be the catalyst to take other life altering events that destroyed so many and so much and make something beautiful and life altering for many to share. Another over-comer.
Now by the natural progression of my blog so far you would think my next step is to go to you and I, well...here is where I deviate. Now it's time to jump to that oh so eye opening info I pulled up about pearl farming. Remember what started all of this? That strand of pearls in my hand....I knew there was SOMETHING I was supposed to share about those pearls...and here it is. Yeah yeah, you know, pearls are made when a grain of sand gets into an oyster and blah, blah, blah....second grade science.
Yeah, you're right, but indulge me for a moment. Read this brief little snippet I pasted below from Pearl-Guide.com

The Process Of Nucleation In Pearl Farming


The process of nucleation is a surgical procedure, whereby a foreign object is implanted into the oyster. This object causes irritation, which the oyster counteracts by secreting nacre to surround the object; this produces the pearl.

The Pearl Is Now Allowed To Grow

After nucleating, the oysters are given a few weeks to recover from the surgery. During this time, some of the oysters may reject and expel the implanted nuclei; others may become sick or even die. Most, however, will fully recover. The oysters are then placed in cages or nets and moved into the oyster bed, where they will be tended as the pearls develop. Depending on the type of oyster, this process can require anywhere from a few additional months to several more years!


Finally, The Pearls Are Harvested

Wow....ok, NOW I can move on to the you and I part of this entry.
Everyday, you and I have foreign objects implanted into us for the purpose of causing irritation. Not to make us miserable, but to give us the opportunity to counteract it and create a pearl! We can reject and expel that irritant or become broken, sick and dead in spirit because of it or we can choose the third option and fully recover and create something beautiful out of what once hurt us. It may take weeks, months or years, but if we accept it and let the process take it's course it will develop a pearl.
 I have many pearls in my life that I didn't realize were pearls until this week. I just never thought of them that way, and to be honest sometimes it can be frustrating to try and explain why you're a Pollyanna to someone that only understands Scrooge. I've had people become angry at me and call me names and tell me I live in a fairytale because I am so happy all the time. I've been told I'm not connected to reality because I don't embrace pain and hurt like the psalmists in the Bible did. PFFTT...whatever! I just shake my head because they really don't get it. I'm happy because I CHOOSE to wrap that pain and irritant in the nacre that is my deep seeded faith and let it surround that object to create a pearl. Then when the time is right, I let my God harvest that pearl out of my life. As far as embracing pain and hurt, hmmm...I do embrace it, but in a way that those blinded to it will never be able to understand. Those oysters don't stay spread open for weather and element to disrupt the process and to brag to all the other oysters about "woe is me" how big and horrible their irritant is. Instead they stay closed around that irritant to ensure that the work is completed. I embrace my irritants alright, but not to wallow in the glory of the irritant, but instead to try and keep my focus on the glory of the pearl to be .
It's not just me either, so many others have done and are doing the same. My best friend Beth has had many a foreign object implanted in her life to cause irritants and she has let God harvest a beautiful strand of pearls out of each one. The same goes for my friends Lori, Rae, Erika, Melissa L and my sweet Ben as well as Melody Gardot and Wayne Elsey and most recently the people in Haiti that we are seeing suddenly worshiping and praising God on the beaches and out in the open air among others. We've all had foreign objects implanted into us by the master of all pearl farmers....our choice is are we going to reject them, let them kill us or truly embrace them and let them be harvested into the glorious pearls they were intended to become all along?
Sadly I know many people who have led lives FILLED with objects of irritation and pain and instead of embracing the potential pearl they just lay flopped open like an open oyster whining and complaining about how bad it is or trying to gain bragging rights about how big and horrible THEIR piece of sand is. They have rejected the pearls that could have been because their too busy with the irritant.
I don't know about you, but I would rather die than miss out on any potential pearls because I rejected the irritant. Not that I have it perfected either, I don't, by any stretch of the imagination. There are many irritants that I have to constantly remind myself are just pearls in the making. Those harder ones are just having to take a little longer, but I know that when they are ready they WILL be harvested too. Besides, it's easier to keep that joy when you know that beauty will eventually come of it.
So start harvesting your pearls! Who knows what beautiful creations may be made out of them when all is said and done!

Philippians 1:6 (New Living Translation)

6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Things will be fine in 2009!!!

It’s a new year…and that means new adventures in life. I’m excited….2008 certainly brought me many adventures…..some happy, some sad….but all brought about changes in my life that I wouldn’t trade for anything. So before I go forward let me recap the past month and a half to fill you in on why I haven’t blogged since mid November.

So at my last update my mother in law had suffered a stroke and after a bleak initial diagnosis, she began to turn around. We continued to see marked progress in her and the nurses in the ICU were WONDERFUL with her. She improved so well in fact, that she finally was well enough to be moved to a regular room on one of the hospital floors. We thought that would be a good thing, instead however that is when all of the problems began. What followed were three weeks of emotionally and physically draining hell.

Without going into overwhelming detail….in a nutshell we encountered multiple incidents of neglect (so bad in fact that at one point she contracted pneumonia and had to be sent back to ICU for a week), false orders (DNR), and constant phone calls from hospital staff telling us she wasn’t improving (in direct contradiction to what we saw when we were there with her) and trying to get us to let her die. Things got so bad we had to bring in a 24 hour private duty nurse to watch her and make sure she was getting proper care. Over time Momchu began to get tired….she overheard our conversations with the staff, chewing them out for lack of proper care etc and I think she was as weary as we were. She was fully aware of her surroundings, and was as interactive with us as always (even though she was tired physically and her speech was still impaired heavily) and although we had to make it a guessing game to talk to her, she communicated quite well.. So one night the three of us, Ben, Mike and me all hung out in her room for a few hours and watched some movies with her. She was bubbly and in good spirits, blowing kisses and such.

Two days later she was gone. They said it was brought on by her pulling out her oxygen line….but I had personally put on the little padded boxing gloves to prevent her from doing that and so I know they were tight and there was no physical way she could have done that without help. Not to mention the fact that they were supposed to be checking her hourly, and they admitted that they hadn’t found her until the morning and by then her oxygen levels were so low that she couldn’t fight her way back.

It would have been really easy to get sucked into the rage of the tragedy….and stay there…..but as you know, I ALWAYS know God places a scarlet thread of good in every situation…no matter how deeply imbedded. This one happened to show up relatively early. After years of unsuccessfully trying to contact my brother in law who had, for various personal reasons, removed himself from the family, Ben hopped onto my Facebook account and sent him an email. By that night, he had contacted us and a few days later I got to meet him for the first time at her wake. By the after funeral luncheon the next day I realized how happy I was to have him back in the family. He has the same wack job sense of humor that Ben and Mike have and he likes hot peppers as much as Ben too. That one still makes me shake my head! LOL.

Soooooooo……..as horrible as it was to lose mom, it was all worth it in the end because it brought my brother in law back to the family when possibly nothing else would have.

Meanwhile….during the drama with Momchu, Tatu, my father in law, was in the hospital twice during that time. Long story….but after a brief stint in a nursing home for rehab, he is fine now and thankfully there is no more news to report regarding him. My parents FINALLY finalized their divorce….something that was LONG overdue and had the same relieving effect as setting a broken arm after it had been left to dangle uselessly and painfully for almost 10 years. I was actually in court with my mother helping her fight her case when the phone call for Momchu came in. Thankfully I didn’t listen to the voicemail until we had recessed for lunch.

Work at Sprout Central has been soooooooo much more than I ever imagined. I can honestly say I have not enjoyed a job this much, in years……perhaps ever. From coming up with fun and creative crafts for them to make, to doling out snacks and cheering them on like a maniac when they go potty, I am loving every minute of it. My co-workers are amazing and fun like a family and the kids….ohhhhhhhh the kids. Some are exasperating…..but the vast majority are a blast. WHERE has this job BEEN my whole life???? On that note however, I REALLY must insert a PRAISE GOD here. When I left my job at the deathstar, my last day was ten years almost to the day that I was hired. When they mailed me my final paycheck ( I left mid pay period) we were shocked at the huge dollar amount of the check . It was FAR larger than it should have been, in fact it was the amount of three of my normal paychecks with them. Upon some research I realized that since I had worked a few days past my original hire date I technically qualified for all of the vacation time I would have had to use for the year. Instead of writing it off, they GAVE it to me in one massive payout!!! Something I had never imagined or planned or dreamed of. I couldn’t help but think that after all the years of garbage I had endured there and the fact that I refused to be cruel or callous upon my exit (even though my friends and coworkers encouraged me to leave the same nasty way the company treated me, and fleshly speaking they would have deserved it), but to honor my God and my faith, and I even TOLD my coworkers that in my last weeks there, God chose to bless me because of that. Something I was and still am, sooooooo thankful for. God ROCKS!!!

Sargie is doing well. He has decided that he loves to have his teeth brushed and every time I try to brush my own he wedges his way between me and the sink whining and crying for me to do his. LOL. He also experienced his first snow last week. LOL…oohhhhhhhhhh my goodness, what a nut. He LOVED it and repeatedly asked to go outside again and again so he could snowplow with his nose, run, jump, hop and roll in the snow. We took him to the home of some family friends for dinner one night where he played endlessly with their two little girl mini American Eskimo dogs. One of which was totally enamored with him…we joked that she had a crush on him…since he IS an older man (she was only 7 months old). LOL.

Our Christmas was quiet….we just didn’t feel like celebrating this year, and didn’t even exchange gifts. Sargie is the only one that lost out on that deal…pitiful boy….but doting mom and dad will buy him plenty of gifts later. Instead, Christmas day we slept most of the day away and watched TV.

I know this year is going to be a good one though, 2008 proved it to me…..no bad thing ever happens without being followed by a God thing…a GOOD thing. So, happy new year to all of you and lets go forward with excitement and anticipation for all the great adventures this year holds!!!